post-foo The Thoughts and Sayings Of Baba Doodlius: Imperfect 10

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Imperfect 10

Howdy again folks. I'm pretty much memed out, but Poetikat tagged me to do this one and I'm gonna go ahead and do it because it's kinda related to my regular schtick: Revealing Mysteries.

These are personal Mysteries. It's a list of 10 things about me that nobody knows. (Well, almost nobody - Mrs. Doodlius knows everything.)

So, no Mytery of the Universe today, and instead it's 10 Mysteries of a tiny little corner of the Universe known as Baba Doodlius. So without further ado, here are

10 Mysterious Things about the Great and Powerful Baba Doodlius

1) I introduced Kermit the Frog to the concept that "It Isn't Easy Being Green". And he never gave me credit for it.

Ungrateful frog. Never trust a frog that's not being served to you in a French restaurant.

2) I invented the feather duster. It was an accident, really - I got my ass stuck under the fridge. Icky!

3) I love eggs. Eggs are yummy! Poached, especially.

4) I once fought and destroyed a cyborg from the future.

He looked all cute and fuzzy until you saw the robotic endoskeleton. He was tough, but nothing I couldn't handle. He won't be back!

5) I set the world record* for "most wooden blocks chewed up in one hour" in 1969. It still stands. Take that, macaws!

Macaws get all the press because of their colorful feathers, but I can beat the best of 'em in a wood chewing contest!

6) My brain is larger than the dimensions of my head. It only fits in there due to an anomaly in the space-time continuum.

7) I am the Universal Master of Bird Fu. Actually, I alluded to this little factoid once before, but never revealed that I am, in fact, the Universal Master. Bird Fu was how I defeated the cyborg from #4, above; I used the deadly "Crouching Parrot" technique. You shoulda seen it, it was epic!

8) I once painted my toenails. Purple. I think it was because of the Oxycontin. Whoops, said too much.

9) I was an uncredited backup singer on the song "Postcards from Paraguay", on Mark Knopfler's 2004 album "Shangri-La". I'm great with harmony!

Mark Knopfler is cool, and can really play that guitar. He isn't as much into parrots as Jimmy Buffett, though.

10) I hate spiders. What with the Bird Fu and all, I know I could take 'em, but the thought of them crawling over my beak while I'm sleeping totally gives me the willies. You know what I'm talking about!

So there you have it. Ten Mysterious things about me that you always wanted to know. Or not. Whatever, I did the meme.

Have a nice day!

* There is an unfortunate asterisk on my wood-block-chewing world record. I used a performance-enhancing substance: titanium beak implants. Hey, they weren't illegal at the time!


moooooog35 said...

I went out with a girl in High School who could have won the "wood chewing contest."

I still have scars.

Elise said...

I'm sure kermit lies awake at night thinking about how he betrayed you!

You should entre a competition with a beaver...


Kathleen Mortensen said...

I just spluttered my tea! That's the funniest meme I've ever read. That feather-duster one killed me!
I'm so glad I tagged you...this has been a riot!

(I'm celebrating a year of writing poetry with the posting of a poem that triggered the whole thing. Stop round when you can.)

Sandy Kessler said...

This explains soo much have a special weekend!!!

Delirious said...

Oh yea...and supposedly we swallow a certain number of spiders in our sleep in our lifetime. That creeps me out too.

Azzitizz said...

Swallow spiders in our sleep!!!!

I wondered why I didn't fancy breakfast this morning, AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I'm off to make myself a net mouthmask now.
Hmmm........'Spidermask', wonder if I could market it?
Just you watch, someone will see this and beat me to it and end up a millionaire!


Baba Doodlius said...

Moog: And you married somebody else?

Elise: I'm waiting for Moog's comment about your comment - "competition with a beaver".

Kat: So glad my painful ass experience can bring so much joy.

Sandy: You have a good week!

Delirious: Well you can just ROCK me to sleep tonight!

Azzy: Spidermask, Spidermask, does watever a Spidermask does! go ahead and become a millionaire - it's fun!

Kathleen Mortensen said...

Dood, everything you say brings me joy.
Yes, Moog missed the boat on that one.
Elise, that's the second time you've been associated with the word "beaver"(remember? Leave it to...)
Azzy...make that mask--I'll buy one!

InnerNinja said...

it is an honor knowing you, especially with all these hidden accomplishments. maybe that personal attorney guy you have in a cage can get working on suing kermit the frog for copyright infringement. the cage is a great place for lawyers, careful not to let him out.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Mr. Doodlius, again you amaze me. Who would believe such exalted accomplishments could come from one as gorgeous as you!

lin said...