post-foo The Thoughts and Sayings Of Baba Doodlius: Hello, hello, hello, is there anybody out there?

Monday, August 13, 2007

Hello, hello, hello, is there anybody out there?

The last secret I revealed was a doozy, but this one is even better. For millenia, humans have looked up at the stars and wondered "Is there anybody up there?" An even bigger question is, "If there is anybody up there, do they ever pop in down here for a visit?" Today I am going to reveal the secret that has spawned a whole cottage industry down here on good ol' earth, the Truth behind the existence of


There are lots of theories about UFOs and space aliens. Most people have heard of Roswell, New Mexico (USA) and its citizens' claim to have had a genuine alien spaceship crash in near their town in the 1940s. Crop circles seem to be sprouting faster than the actual crops. Stories of UFO sightings are so commonplace nowadays that people hardly raise an eyebrow when they hear of another one. Practically everybody and his dog has seen something unexplained in the sky, and many people even claim to have been kidnapped by aliens, taken aboard their spacecraft, and had their anuses probed by curious extraterrestrial perverts. So what is the truth behind all of these sightings and stories? The Truth is..

Extraterrestrial life does exist!

And I'm not talking about microbial life, like the stuff NASA has been rolling robots all over Mars trying to find. I'm talking about serious life, intelligent life, with full-blown civilizations consisting of billions of inhabitants. There are veritable bucketloads of highly advanced civilizations throughout the Universe! And what's even better,

Alien Spacecraft also exist!

Literally thousands of these extraterrestrial civilizations have accomplished the amazing achievement of building spacecraft capable of interstellar transportation. They've got stuff so advanced it would make the nice folks who wrote Star Trek episodes say "Holy shit! Why didn't I think of that?".

So all those UFO sightings on earth are really extratrerrestrial spacecraft just dropping by for a cup of tea and a little recreational cow mutilation, right? Not so fast there, Stanton Friedman. I said that alien spacecraft exist, not that aliens actually go out of their way to fly them here.

The sad fact is that this little planet isn't nearly as interesting as humans think it is. Sure, it has some nice spots here and there, and a few of the local critters are pretty cool, but for the most part this is a rather ordinary, uninteresting planet unless you grew up here. All those citizens of those highly advanced civilizations have waaaaay better stuff to do than stop by a boring, technologically backward planet for the sheer pleasure of peering up the local's buttholes and drawing pictures in their barley fields. No, they have to work pretty hard to make the payments on their new interstellar Hummers and Lexuses, and would much rather spend their downtime visiting Uncle Bloogjooper over on planet Zort*. You know, the one over by that nebula, near that little star cluster.

(Video of actual alien visitation)

Alien Visitation

So enough with the UFO sightings already. If you want to meet the neighbors, you figure out how to go visit them. They'll find you much more interesting then.

*Not his real name. Also not his planet's real name.


NeoAuteur said...

I have encountered a lot of aliens lately. In fact, one of them just mowed my lawn and another fixed my carpet.

Monday Morning Power said...

With a name like Baba Doodlius I just had to visit. Your stuff is funny and I don't want you to feel left out. SO I would like to invite you to swap links with me. Link my site to yours, leave me a comment on my blog that you have done so and I will immediately do the same. I only make this offer to sites that I know my readers would benefit from. I had to see your site first and it fits (whatever that means.)

Monday Morning Power said...

My friend, for better of for worse, we are officially linked. Welcome to my blogroll.

Johnskibeat said...

If there really is life on other planets and parallel universes do exist then surely it could be that aliens have visited earth. However, the chances of it being in this universe and our lifetimes is more remote than Elvis divorcing Priscilla.

Oh, and thanks for the Polish vodka tip! I'll try it!

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Comedy + said...

There are many aliens living among us right here on earth. You have met some I'm sure.

I checked on your blogs worth and it's way more than $1.50. It is now worth $564.54. So, you have plenty of money for the bus to the library. Have a great day. :)

Geoff said...

Hi Baba Doodlius!

Great site! I'm with neoauter.....I encounter aliens daily. Enjoyed the post! (and yes there ARE gay guys in Idaho lol). --Geoff

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