Hey, baby!

Hello all you seekers of Truth! Baba Doodlius here once again to let you in on another juicy tidbit of Universal knowledge.

This mystery will be of interest to everybody because it involves

SEX!




No, I'm not going to post pornographic pictures or anything like that (they'd revoke my Mystery License if I were to stoop to so prurient a level). In fact, this post deals only peripherally with "the S word" in that it is all about Procreation, which is, of course, sometimes the result of "the ol' horizontal mambo". (Whoops, I got two points on the Mystery License for using that bad euphemism - darn it, my insurance rates are gonna go up. Stupid Mystery License Board!)

So what mystery am I solving today? Today's revelation is none other than the Answer to the Most Puzzling Question related to "sausage wrestling" (two more points, consarnit), which is:

HOW DO BABIES KNOW WHEN TO BE BORN?

Because, as I have mentioned before, I am a lazy bastard, I really like this mystery. I mean c'mon, there are babies everywhere you look. You can barely throw a rock without hitting one (not, um, that I ever threw a rock at a baby, mind you, it's just an expression). So the research on this one was hardly difficult, not like that Bigfoot escapade or the Chupacabra experience. Truly, it was like taking candy from a, uh, baby.

All I had to do was find a newborn baby. They had plenty of them in the local hospital. So I snuck in and took some pictures. Here's what I found:



Looks like a plain ol' baby, right? Well it is. But look very carefully at the belly area - here, I'll blow it up a little for you:




At this point it dawned on me what I was seeing, and it was the answer to the mystery! Still haven't guessed it? OK, I'll zoom in just a little more:




It's a pop-up timer!

I really suspected this all along. The same gizmo that helps you get a perfect Butterball every Thanksgiving also tells Junior when it's time to come out and see the world. Doctors remove them because they generally come in colors that clash with the traditional pink and blue blankets, but right out of the chute you can clearly see them right there.

Wow, that was easy! I almost feel like I didn't earn my paycheck for that one. Almost.