Revealing a secret

OK, I think I've kept all of you blog readers (all 3 of you) waiting long enough to get some serious secrets revealed. So today I'm going to reveal a serious secret. So without further ado, here it is:

Richard Gere does not actually put gerbils in his rear end.

I know, you think I am just kidding. "Everybody knows that Richard Gere puts gerbils in his rear end" you say. But no! He actually doesn't. In fact, *nobody* really does this. Gerbils have sharp teeth and claws and are instinctive (and effective) diggers, and if one actually got into a person's rear end it would naturally start trying to dig and chew its way out. This would inevitably result *not* in any sexual pleasure in the insertee, but rather in a level of internal bleeding that one would be hard pressed to survive. Eventually the gerbil recipient, if he were to in fact live very long, would require extensive surgery to remove the gerbil-damaged part of his descending colon.

So it is clear that since Richard Gere is still alive and has *not* had extesive anal surgery (that's a bonus secret revealed), the point is therefore proved that he does not put gerbils in his rear end. Plus his acting ability is rather overrated (*another* bonus secret - no extra charge).

Tune in next time when more Secrets of the Universe will be revealed!