The Sting of Mystery - Solved!

On last update, I had discovered that my old buddy Buckirk McGurk the chicken was the mastermind of the "Hive Action League" (HAL), who has kidnapped millions of North American honeybees and demanded a 10 billion Euro ransom!

But something just doesn't add up here. I know Buckirk McGurk. Buckirk McGurk is a friend of mine. The bee-napping mastermind is no Buckirk McGurk!

So I'm back to the drawing board, looking for more clues to this Mystery using the only evidence I have, which is the picture that HAL sent with their ransom demand:



Hmmm... there's something besides the chicken in this picture that I recognise - that mountain range in the background looks awfully familiar:



Now where have I seen that before? AHA! I got it! I seem to recall a postcard, sent to me by none other than Buckirk McGurk, when he went on vacation a few years back:



Those mountains are the Grand Tetons! Let's see, Grand Teton National Park, quite famous for its striking natural beauty, is located in the state of Wyoming in the U.S. of A.


Wyoming, hmmm...


And that name, "HAL" - where have I heard that before?


What... are... you... doing... Dave?

Yeah, there was the crazy computer in that movie "2001 - A Space Odyssey"*. But I've seen those letters more recently than that. Wait a minute, I think I remember...



HAL is the stock ticker symbol for Halliburton Company!


Hmmm... Wyoming... Halliburton...


No. Oh, no. It can't be!


Ziiiiiiiiiiiiip!






That's not Buckirk McGurk! It's Dick Cheney!


U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney and his buddies at Halliburton, where he was formerly the CEO, are behind the kidnapping of all the North American honeybees! Why would they do something like that? I have to infiltrate Halliburton headquarters to get to the bottom of this! Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back!


...


(Wow, this is some white-knuckle suspense right here, ain't it? Worth the price of admission, I tell you!)


...


I'm back! And I know exactly why Halliburton kidnapped all those bees! Check out the following unassailable evidence:



Halliburton is working on genetically modifying honeybees to spit out oil instead of honey! But they don't want to put their oil business profits into the research, so they came up with this kidnapping and ransom scheme to 1) get plenty of test subjects, and 2) to fund the genetic research!




Uh, well, hmm...

Let's see here - Dick Cheney is the Vice President of the United States, and Halliburton is a multi-billion multinational corporation.


I am a bird.


Sorry folks, but I have exactly zero clout here - these folks will just not listen to me when I ask them to please release all the bees!

So, the next time you see Dick Cheney or a Halliburton employee, please ask them very nicely to let the bees go! Bees are our friends! Bees wanna be free! Free the Bees!




* R.I.P. Arthur Clarke. That was quite an imagination you had!